Angels and Demons: Sitting out while everyone else is running

Here is an article I wrote that appeared in the Second Wind Running Club newsletter about running-related injury, and a picture of me at the Clinton Lake 30-mile Trail Run.

I have often complained about how men avoid seeing the doctor when clearly they should. But I have been guilty of this myself when it comes to athletic injuries, and I recently had my first serious running-related injury.

I felt a twinge in the back of my left calf during an easy fun run, several days after successfully running my first Clinton ultra, something I had prepared all winter for. The first question that came to mind was this: Is this a real injury or is this something I can run through, like a cramp? After stopping to stretch, I continued to run, and my calf experienced the dreaded pop and the sudden onset of pain as my muscle seized.

My angel sits on one shoulder, and my demon sits on the other. I consult with both when facing life’s decisions, and neither had been aroused yet, because the answer to my question was pretty clear when I tried to run through the pain. I simply couldn’t. I could barely even walk through it.

I got home, and I RICEd (Rest. Ice. Compression. Elevation.). I massaged. I broke out the night splint. I googled “calf strain.” I found this from Runner’s World: “If it’s more of a sudden tightness, in the calf for example, stretch the muscle, and again, massage the area. Continuing to run without taking action just makes a tear more likely.” Oops.

Me: When can I run again?

Angel: When you have no pain.

Demon: You might have a little pain but it will go away when you’re warmed up. You can at least try, can’t you?

Several weeks later, I was working the aid station at the McNaughton trail run. With the beautiful trail, the perfect weather, the camaraderie of my fellow runners, and the inspiration of the McNaughton racers, I couldn’t help myself. Plus I had another race to train for. I tried running. It hurt. My calf popped within the first mile.

Friends recommended I seek medical attention immediately, and I made a promise to a friend that I would, and I did. I went to the sports medicine clinic and was examined by a trainer. He couldn’t feel a dent, which would confirm a tear, but he couldn’t rule it out. That would require ultrasound and an appointment with the doctor, which he suggested making right away. Unfortunately the good doctor was out for three weeks.

Angel: You should still make the appointment.

Demon: By the time the doctor is back, you’ll be healed up. Why bother?

Me: Why bother indeed?

Continue RICE, cross-train on days that I’d normally be running (deep water running or kettle bell, anyone?), start neuromuscular massage (which I was planning to do anyway for general maintenance)…. Two pops later, prompted by the most innocuous of movements, the slightest firing of the calf muscle as I pushed off the ball of my foot, three weeks had passed, and I was back to square one. I made the appointment, but by the time the doctor could see me, it had been more than a month since the initial injury.

It was plain as day on the ultrasound image that I had suffered serious longitudinal tear that went down practically the entire length of my calf. Between two layers of muscle was a wide gap full of blood. Now I had six weeks of physical therapy ahead of me for what should be a full recovery, starting the very next day.

Was this an overuse injury? Could I have prevented this? Was I really stupid (again)? No, said the good doctor. This was simply “bad luck.” Although I should have come in earlier, because I undoubtedly made a bad situation worse, I could pull the tail out, at least a little, from between my legs.

Angel: Do everything the doctor and physical therapist tells you. If you start up again too soon, you risk re-injury.

Demon: What does your doctor know? The longer you delay your return, the more your fitness level will decrease. You’ll get fat!

Angel: Stay positive, focus on your cross-training, and eat better. Consider races far into the future to have something to think about when you’re in the pool, but don’t commit because the demon might pressure you to return to training too soon.

Demon: After a few runs, you’ll be right up there with what you were doing before in no time.

Angel: Return slowly when you’re pain-free. Run gently on soft surfaces. Run short distances. Keep cross-training. Listen to your body and to other runners who have gone through injury and running-withdrawal.

Demon: You will be miserable during your injury because running was your way of relieving stress.

Angel: Volunteer more during your recovery. This will make you happy and keep you engaged.

Demon: Just forget it then. Put your feet up and pop a beer. Running is no good for you anyway. Look at all those injured runners. If you must, take up a new sport.

Angel: Patience. You will always have running.

I am still recovering as I write this. There was no one angel. There were several, some of whom might actually read this. You know who you are, and I thank you. The demon was of my own creation, and it is not alone.